I'm still struggling to decide whether I'm looking forward to Christmas or not.
So I've decided to do the traditional list of pros and cons to assist me.
So far, it runs as follows, but I'd love to hear any corrections or additions.
Good News
Selection Boxes. The only time of the year it's okay to buy eight bars of chocolate at a time for a child, or indeed for yourself.
Bad News
Mince Pies. I can't bear them. They're made of fruit, and suet or vegetable fat. Now in fairness, can you think of any other time of the year you'd sit down to a feed of pastry, fruit and fat? Bleugh. Feel free to argue.
Good News
Quality Street. Especially the orange and strawberry cremes. My favourite Christmas chocolate of all.
Bad News
Roses. I mean the Cadbury's ones, not the flowery ones, which I'm not fond of either. But I hate unwrapping a box of sweets and discovering they're Roses, not Quality Street. I think Roses have gone miles downhill since I was a child, when, unless I'm much mistaken, they were lovely. Or maybe we were just more deprived then.
To be fair, I'm expecting some resistance on this. Roses remain popular, I'm told.
Good News
Cosy pyjamas and open fires. Special new, Christmas pyjamas. Not of your satiny nonsense for me, I want flanelette at Christmas. Especially if they've got Santy or Rudolph on.
Bad News
Onesies. None for me thanks. I've made my feelings clear on this in the past, if you're not aware of them and are remotely interested please see my blog on the right, under November, "Onesie for the Road". I'll say no more for now.
Good News
Drinking early in the day. Or from anytime of the day, to be honest. In our house, Mum is a teetotaller, so we try to exercise some control, so that she doesn't end up surrounded by drunkards by lunchtime. Except for the year my sister opened the brandy at 11am. And didn't stop until she finished it, the bold yoke.
Bad News
Mulled wine. I don't like it. It's been interfered with too much. I don't like my alcohol hot. Just give me the bloody wine before you start faffing about with it.
Good News
Fairytale of New York, by the Pogues and Kirsty McColl. I have to admit, I listen to this song all year round.
Bad News
Cliff Richards' bloody efforts at Yuletide charm. How many Christmas songs has he made? It feels like hundreds. And every one of them is worse than the last.
Good News
Nice seasonal frost that looks nice from inside, but melts by midday.
Bad News
Snow and ice and frozen pipes and impassable roads.
Good News
Lovely decorations and candles.
Bad News
The creepy fibre optic Santy at work. It just stands there, multi coloured lights twinkling, and somehow managing to remind me of a serial killer.
Good News
Small children cheering every time they see even a picture of Santy, and muttering their wishes shyly at the great man when they go to visit his grotto.
Bad News
The fecking stalls on Henry Street that make the street almost impassable, and that all sell the same tat.
Good News
Cosy lunches in country pubs, catching up with lovely people home for the season, drinking, again, during the day, while the wind lashes against the windows.
Bad News
Being elbowed in the face by enthusiastic revellers on New Years Eve, who are a foot taller than me and twenty years younger.
Good News
Brussels Sprouts being compulsory.
Bad News
I suppose for most of the people in the country, brussels sprouts being compulsory.
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